Creationism, according to G-bear

From the back seat, I heard a long, dramatic lecture, accompanied by graceful arm motions and many hand gestures.  It went something like this.

Ever wonder where the first trees came from?  Well, a long, long time ago God made one gigantic seed, about the size of a dining room table.  It was planted and from it grew many enormous trees.  Each of them made their own seeds and more and more and more and more trees grew.  The seeds and the trees became smaller.  Back then, the earth was a hot, dry desert.  The only way anyone could stay cool was from the shade of these trees.  Then God decided to weave a beautiful scarf for his wife, Mother Earth.  He wrapped it around her, and that scarf became grass.  It brought coolness to the Earth.  This all happened before there were even dinosaurs.