Community farm

A wonderful visit to a dreamy farm on a breathtakingly beautiful day.  It does the soul good.

Freezer and heart, filled up.

Saving me

Days have been difficult with my little one.  He is really trying my patience, and I have had some parenting moments that I am not proud of.  Ever since we stopped night-time nursing, he has replaced it with a new ritual.  He wraps his little arms around me, pulls me close, and whispers this in my ear, over and over:

I love you.  I love ALL of you.  You are my mommy.  All mine.  I love you.  I love ALL of you.  You are my mommy.  All mine. I love you.  I love ALL of you.  You are my mommy.  All mine.

Sometimes, I can't help but think he is saving me from myself, because during the day, when I am reaching the end of my rope, his words still echo in my mind.

Michigan October

I love October in this part of the world.  Especially when we luck out with a nice long "Indian Summer."

9 years

Sometimes it's hard for me to admit this, but when I think of Moo's birth, I usually feel my insides tighten up.  It was hard.  It was long.  It was the most difficult thing I'd ever done, emotionally and physically.  It was not what we had planned.  Too many interventions.

But, when I think of the first time I saw her face and touched her, I feel a sigh of relief.  I have a vision of Mark handing her to me, his face stained with tears, and we were both in utter disbelief.  She was so shockingly her.  Tender and sweet and beautiful and intensely staring back at us.  I remember looking at the crisp October morning outside our hospital window, and thinking to myself, "This is a moment I will never forget.  My life has changed forever."

So tomorrow she begins the 10th year of her life (gasp!!!).  It's hard to believe.  But it's not hard to love every day of those years.  And it's not hard to envision the love that will surround her from this point on.  Happy Birthday to our dear girl.

Moo turns 9!

Even though it's not quite her birthday, we enjoyed Moo's birthday party last night.  She wanted to have a friendship/storytelling/campfire party.  A small crowd of kids came over for making friendship bracelets, cooking over the fire, telling stories, and a sleepover!  Once again, our neighbor made the most amazing cake for Moo.  It was a campfire scene with a 3D campfire on top, complete with candy rocks, pretzel logs, and candy bar logs in the fire.  She is incredible!  I slept in the tent in our back yard with the 7 who decided to stay (and consequently, it was my first night away from Bug).  It was just lovely.  Rarely do we get such warm days surrounding Moo's birthday.  It's been very warm in the day, and cool in the morning/evening.  The kids slept pretty well.  We left the rain cover off, so we could enjoy the stars.  Moo and a couple others reported seeing amazing stars in the middle of the night.  Moo counted 20 shooting stars!  Another girl said she saw at least 1000 stars!  In the morning, we filled their bellies with crepes and sausage, yogurt and fruit.  It was a wonderful way to celebrate the birth of our amazingly tender, kind, beautiful girl.

Tuesdays

Ah, the luxury of two extra hands and one more whole being of patience and energy for the needs of little ones.  These last few days have really overwhelmed me, leaving me feel like a bad, bad Mama.  Today, though. . . today was Tuesday, and that brought respite.